Choke'N

I got my second fill yesterday. I told the doctor that I didn't have much restriction and that I wanted MORE.  I had not lost any weight from my first fill and so he went CrAzY and put 2 1/2 cc's in there. When I tried to drink the water it came back up. Eek.  So the nurse took out 1/2 a cc right then.  I thought I was ok.  But as the evening went on, it got worse. I was choking on my own spit.  Really?  Can that happen?  It was happening.  I didn't read that in the fine print. Being a newbie, I thought I was going to die..and thats when I became Linda Blair. I do have to say my hubby took it like champ. And we even got a giggle out of it all.  It was like "what the heck just happened?" Now I understand the baggie thing y'all talk about. It was awful. I called the nurse and there was nothing she could do.  She told me that I was going to miserable all night.  I wish at this time I would have had a banded mentor to help me thru the madness. It was the worse thing everrrrr.  But, I survived.  And thank goodness the nurse met me at the doctors office at 6AM and took out 1cc. I hate that I had to have fluid taken out but I just could not do it. I feel like a loser because I could not keep it all in.  Yet, the nurse tried to tell me that the doctor normally does not put that much in...so it was ok....maybe he was mad because I did not lose anything from my last visit (initial fill). I dunno.  


I hope that I manage to lose some weight since I had the fluid removed. :(  


As for a NSV:  I wore jeans this past weekend that I had not been able to wear since I had
my hx last year!!!  whooo hoooo!  Love it.

FiLLeR Up DoC

Friends I had my first fill and it was a piece of CAKE.  Well not an actual piece of cake. Gosh that sure sounds good. Like a piece of white wedding cake with creamy icing.  Oh my. I have digressed as usual.  This past week has been fantastic. Not having much restriction was kind of fun but I did not go crazy.  I had kind of plateaued with the weight loss and so I was so ready for the fill so we could get this party train started.  Funny thing is when I got on the scale this morning I was down 2 lbs. Finally.  So that makes a total of 30lbs.  The doctor was quite surprised I had lost any after my post-op appointment. He said that most people don't lose any during that healing time before the first fill. I lost 7.5lbs. So that was a happy surprise.  I was so frustrated because it was like one pound a week. I wanted it to be FASTER.  And hopefully now with some fluid, it will be.  I know it will be awhile until I get to the sweet spot. They fill it soooo slowly.  I think I only have like 5cc's and then in two weeks they add more.  I can tell a bit of a difference.  I won't really know until I eat real food on Wednesday. And I have been eating all real food up until this point.  I really have not been scared to eat real food. Now I am sure once I experience that food sticking thing, I will be more cautious. But for now, I just eat what I want.  


Now for the exercise. Someone needs to kick me in the butt.  Why oh Why can I not seem to get on that bus?  What makes it so hard?  Maybe it is the fact that I am trying to go off my estrogen and I am having some of the worse hot flashes. I feel like I have a small oven inside of my body.  I had the big H last year (yes I am young but boy it was the bestest decision ever) and was put on estrogen. I took it and really did not give it much thought but then I started reading (my first mistake) about all the horrible things synthetic estrogen can do. Soooo, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to quit cold turkey. And then when I thought things couldn't get worse I have an OB appt. tomorrow (which I totally spaced off and got the reminder call today) and so now I have to tell the doctor that I decided that I did have MD behind my name and that I know so much more than her, that I stopped my meds. Yup I can't wait to have that conversation tomorrow. Maybe she will be so pleased that my two ton belly looks a bit smaller and she will congratulate me on my loss and overlook my bad behavior.  


I dunno folks.  I just know that I need to get on the exercise wagon and of course I did not go to Stickk.com to bet against myself because I could not make up my mind if I was going to be Pro-Me or Pro-whatever.  Another one of my shortfalls, INDECISION.  It's a wonder I decided to go thru with this surgery because I was on the fence.  Worried sick.  But I did read this fabulous sign today:  The Majority of What You Worry About Today Never Happens.  Oh my goodness...so true.  Definitely words to live by from the number one worrier of the world.


Take care friends and good night.


D


P.S. - I did earn some brownie points today. My daughter noticed a lost dog up the street. The dog was from a town over from ours. I am not sure how he found his way here and why he decided to head east but he ended up on our street and my daughter and I bribed him with food to not be afraid of us and once he got over being afraid he jumped in my arms. It was the most awesome feeling ever.  Thank goodness he was chipped and so we were able to re-unite him to his family.  That chip thing really is a good thing.  :) So happy it worked out for little Shiloh. We temporarily named him Stewart (like Steward Little and his little adventures). 

NEW BLOG DESIGN...

Wowee my daughter rocked my world by creating this awesome blog spot for me.  It is amazing how teens just get in there and do it and don't worry about mistakes or how things might not work.  I need some of that gumption in my day to day world.  Just not caring if I am perfect, or if I make mistakes.  Another lesson learned from the young.  

I am in a much better place this week than last week.  Still have the volleyball drama. I had some stinkin' thinkin'. Although, with a bit of an attitude adjustment (on my part) and lots and lots of venting, I am more at peace with it all and can't let that stuff eat me alive. I noticed that my daughter wanted to "eat bad" to deal with her emotions one night. Uh Oh!  Not the example I want to pass on to my daughter. I hear the alarm bell ringing and I need to nip that in the bud quick.  

I did start my training for my 1/2 marathon. Who am I kidding?  All of one day..that is not gonna work. I am gonna find myself on the shag wagon.  And no race finish BLING. Ok, I admit, it's the medal at the end that I do all of this for.  The bigger the bling, the better.  I look to see what race has the best bling.  San Francisco has it topped off with a beefy fireman at the finish line with a one of a kind Tiffany necklace.  That's a gift worth running for. giggle. Back on the subject of staying with the exercise.  I do have a plan. Really. I was able to run for 30 minutes straight and I did not die.  I also had some entertainment. My husband doing Wii active and loved to watch him try to grapevine on the stepper. Oh my.  

I think I am going to try to motivate myself using Stickk.com.  I read about it in a magazine. I just have to decide what my motivator is going to be.  Will I give money to a charity or a person that I hate if I fall off the wagon?  Or to a charity I love that will benefit from my lack of structure?  I wonder how many bloggers in this blogosphere have tried this reverse mentality and bet against themselves.  

Next week I get my first fill. I am ready. I have no restriction and so I feel like I eat like I used too. Not as bad...It has been 8 weeks since a McDonalds hamburger or fries has crossed my lips. And I have to say I don't miss fast food at all!!!!  Now I have had McD iced tea.  And they made the "mistake" last week and gave me sweet tea and it was so yummy.  

Another long volleyball tournament day and my 18th anniversary are this weekend.  Hope to stay on track and will update all on the fill situation.  Oh and I lost another pound..whoooo hooo.  My dear daughter said she would update my ticker.  

Running is a lot like life. Only 10 percent of it is exciting. 90 percent of it is slog and drudge.  by David Bedford

D