Sunday, January 23, 2011 shrink or not to shrink?

I guess it is no secret what I am doing. Although, I guess in a sense it is a secret. At least this blog thing is. I have tried to keep this surgery kind of under wraps. I guess because I have failed so many times in the past. It's like 'oh another diet'. I don't really think of this as a diet tho. Because it isn't like you can fudge your points, or bank points, or not eat a frozen food entree, or eat that whole entire large bag of super buttery popcorn at the movies. No, this is more real. If you eat the wrong foods, you vomit or it gets stuck. eeek!  I guess the band is kind of like a game. You know the rules and if you don't follow them, you lose.  Which would totally stink because this game costs a lot of money...even if insurance is paying the bulk of it. You still have your DEDUCTIBLE and it isn't a small sum of money. Nope, the insurance company wants to make sure you wanna max that baby out.  And I will.  Scary as that sounds.  I guess the good news is that once it is maxed out...the rest of my year is "covered".  That is lame. No one wants to max the deductible. 

The other thing I was discussing with my dear daughter is the fact that this "fat doctor" is gonna see me naked..yup...fat and all.  It isn't pretty.  With the stretch marks that look like a map of Kansas City (thanks to dear daughter and pregnancy) and the 8 inch scar from my hysterectomy..and a couple other scars that I do not wish to discuss..things are not gonna be pretty.  Will he gasp when he sees them.  Laugh? Crack a joke? Oh my..visions from the 6th grade are surfacing. It makes me wanna eat a donut. But I can't. 

And then there is the whole liver shrinking thing. What if that stupid liver didn't shrink? What if it is a rebel like the rest of my body has been for my entire life? I have lost 18 lbs on this part of my diet but was that the liver shrinking or my thighs? What if it was some part of my body that did not need to shrink and the liver is gloating at the fact that it refused to shrink. Like it stands guard over my stomach, refusing to let anyone in.  

Or what if the spleen decides to be mean too?  I don't think the spleen has to shrink or anything but he can get in the way.  Or worse, have to removed. I have not looked up what a spleen does. I know it gets inflamed when you get mono and you can't play sports. Not sure how necessary the organ is.  

We (dear daughter and I) decided to name my lap band.  We decided on a cute name. Lilly. Lilly the Lap Band.  And the port is like a lilly pad to add water to the pond. We threw out names like Katie and Emma.  We liked Lilly the best. 

On a more positive note, I did try to learn how to knit today. It said in "the manual" that I needed to find a hobby to do with my hands. I thought knitting would be a good choice. Other than I suck at it.  I am afraid the prayer shawls I make will be quite ugly.  They better give mine to someone blind. I'll be praying over it alright,  I'll be asking for forgiveness every time I curse while making it.  It was better than some of the other projects they were working on.  Some of which did not sound appealing and may require a pattern of some sort. I was a little awestruck at the "pillowcase" dresses.  Say what?  When they pulled those out, I do have to admit, I wanted to giggle.  Yup, you read that right. Someone decided to make dresses out of pillowcases.  

I know I have been tardy with the posts and I will do better in the future. Let's just say I survived the last two weeks with NO MIGRAINE. I don't know how that happened.  Praise God.  I was expecting it with the lack of food.  Tomorrow will be another story because you get NO FOOD the day before. 

Happy hugs my friends,

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